I am an adventurous person, but sometimes it is hard to move beyond the bed. You go to bed naked with your partner. You wake up naked in bed with your partner. So at the end of the day, 80% of sex just ends up in the bed.
To help you get out of the “in your bed” routine, I would like to suggest a sex bench.
When I say sex bench, there are 2 distinct types that will come to people's mind. First is simply a bench for having sex on and the other is commonly called a spanking bench.
For simplicity, if you are looking for information on a spanking bench, I am going to refer you to this article. If you are not into spanking or BDSM and just want to add some variety to your life, let's dive into it.
Using a Sex Bench
I love my bench. I admit, I probably do not use it as much as I should, but then again I have so many great toys. The bench does have its place, and there are some things it does better than anything else. For those that love squatting sex and doggy style the bench is awesome!
If you have read my blog before, you probably saw me talking about my husband's love of squatting. The idea of having a woman standing over a man and slowly lowering herself down on him is a very common fantasy. The problem is that for most women this sounds like a nightmare. Three seconds of fun, two minutes of burning thigh muscles and the entire next 3 days with sore legs.
To overcome these problems there are a couple of options. There is the sex swing squatting attachment, a sex stool, and a sex bench. All of these options are good but I prefer the bench because there are no straps between me and my partner.
The idea is simple, have your partner lay on a bench, straddle over him and lower away. For something extra hot, consider using a suction cup dildo on the bench and letting your partner watch.
In several recent studies, doggy style has come out as the most popular position for men and women. Any study that does not show it as the leader places it in second. So what is the problem with this classic?
For me, the problem is that doggy style usually happens in a bed and not all beds are great. kneeling on a bed, especially a soft bed makes you sink into it. This can make it difficult to do everything from getting into positions to keeping your balance comfortably. This really depends on your bed and your weight.
A bench is firm and elevated. This makes it great for doggy style. There are a few options such as kneeling on the bench and having your partner stand behind you or kneeling on the floor and laying over the bench.
In addition to regular doggy style, using the bench with your partner standing can allow him to be positioned higher over you for a more vertical movement. If you find the right position, this has the potential for lots of g-spot stimulation.
Massages turned to sex
I would say the bench can make a great massage table, but let's be honest, we all know what happens when a man gives a woman a massage. So yeah, the sex bench is perfect. If you want to have sex anyway, why not use the bench to get a good 10-minute massage as foreplay before you find a dick in you. Take what you can get!
The sex bench can get you a lot of extra massages because your husband knows what it will lead to and being out of the bed is just a little adventurous. Plus it is a lot easier for him to give you a massage when he is standing over your and he can use both hands freely vs trying to lay or kneel next to you in bed.
Not everyone is into bondage, but most like the idea of just being a little frisky. So grab a necktie or a piece of rope and tie each other up on the bench. Just mess around and see what happens.
A sex bench is for “light” bondage. Do not get all crazy because these benches are typically narrow and can tip over if someone is tied to it and thrashing around. So just be careful with this. Getting hurt kills the mood.
Buying a Sex Bench
The great thing is that for a sex bench, you do not need any specialized sex equipment. In fact, you can find them everywhere, make your own or buy a bench made specifically for this use.
The general idea is to find a bench that is about 11 to 14 inches wide and about 15 to 18 inches tall and 3 feet long. I recommend straddling the bench and making sure it is not too wide for your height and remember there will be the height of a body laying on it. Also, sit on it sideways and make sure the corners do not dig into your thighs weird or are too sharp.
Pro tip: If you are testing benches out while you are at a store, be aware of your sorroundings. People look at you weird when you testing squatting positions in Home Depot. Been there. Done that. Definatly got the looks.
A lot of people have a problem with sex furniture because of the size and lack of storage options. However, if you go with a bench, you can often just leave it at the foot of your bed like a piece of furniture, or you can find one that folds up flat and stores anywhere.
My first bench was a Homemade DIY project that my husband made for me of pine and dark stain. Total cost at Home Depot was about $20 and the total time was about an hour. Since we had no real woodworking tools or skills, we went with the old, distressed, graffitied look and it worked great! He carved a few things in it, he beat it a little to look warn and used a pretty dark stain to hide imperfections.
Next, I had a bench we found at Camping World. I wonder if I am the only person ever to buy a sex toy in an RV store? Anyway, this worked great because it was very lightweight and it folded up for easy storage. I was able to take this with us traveling around the country. I latter found if for sale here on Amazon.
I have been looking for a more furniture quality bench and they are just hard to come by. If you google “end of bed bench” you can find a bunch of benches, but they are usually too wide. Most of the results are 16 to 18 inches wide. I have tried a 15 and 16-inch wide bench, but in that case, the bench needs to be shorter around 12 inches tall or it will hit the thighs wrong. All of these benches are 17 or 18 inches tall. I will continue looking and update this page with anything I find.