Realistic Dildos

Before I get too far into this, I need to redefine “realistic“.

If you go to any major sex toy site they have a category for “realistic dildos” but quickly scrolling through them, you realize they are shit. Most of them are completely worthless.

Anything can qualify are “realistic” if it slightly more penis looking than a rolling pin. If it has the right color, a head on it and maybe a couple veins, they think that is good.

Fuck that!

When I have a dildo and it is being plowed deep into me, I can't tell what color it is and really can not feel veins. These things are meaningless.

The only things that matter are the way it feels and moves. If it looks exactly perfect but is a rigid piece of plastic, then it is not realistic, at least in my book.

5 Things that make a dildo realistic

  • Real penises have moveable skin. If it is going to move and feel like a real dick, the dildo must have a outer skin that moves
  • Dicks are firm, not rigid. If a dildo is going to be realistic it needs to be firm, more like a tennis ball than a rock.
  • Penises are flexible. Now a hard dick is not bendable like a noodle, but it is also not hard like a steel rod. It is hard enough to hold its shape but it can flex so it does not cause pain for the woman.
  • Balls move. Having realistic balls made of rigid plastic are not at all realistic.
  • Appearance. Lastly is appearance. It is the most obvious in a picture on the internet, but when it is deep in a vagina, the appearance does not really count for much.

Since you can purchase a realistic dildo ranging from about $15 up to over $500, I think it is important that I share with you a range of items in different price ranges that I think are the best options available. Obviously you can not expect the $40 dildo to measure up to the $500 one, but you should be able to find something that moves and feels good even in the lower price points.

Realcocks Sliders

Price Range: $40-$60

If you go to any random website and click on realistic dildos you will find a lot of toys cheaper than this.

Is this dildo realistic looking to you?

Take a look at this –>

This toy is listed on popular sites as a “best selling” realistic dildo at $10. Sure it has a head shape on it, but does it really look real? As for feel, it is about the firmness of a hot dog and it has no moveable skin.

So when considering what you actually get for $10, I think $40 is a pretty cheap toy.

The Realcocks Sliders meet almost all of my expectations of a realistic dildo. They are made with a “skeleton” in the center that allows it to bend but maintain a rigid form. It has a main layer that is firm but has some give and it has an outer moveable skin layer. On top of that, if you go with the 6 inch, it lines up pretty close to the size of the average human penis. That is kinda rare in the world of huge dildos.

Realistic dildo - realcocks sliders

Put all that together and if you were to close your eyes, and give it a handjob, you would hardly know the difference. The one drawback to me is that it does not have balls that move, but then again, that is rare and a pretty high standard for me to set.

When it comes to actual use, this is was by far the most realistic dildo I had ever tried at the point when I first used it.

This dildo comes in uncircumcised in the 6 inch and cut in the other sizes. Sadly, in the uncut one, the foreskin does not move, so it works pretty much the same as the cut version.

King Cocks Uncut Dildos

The King Cocks dildos are interesting. There are a lot of products under the King Cock brand and they are all considered “realistic” as they are generally penis shaped, with veins and sort of normal colors. But they do not meet any of my criteria for what makes a realistic dildo.

The King Cock line includes everything from strap on toys, to vibrators, to squirting toys. All of them are the same. No moveable skin, no natural flex or movement.

But then they did something interesting. They created the “uncut” King Cocks. What is interesting to me is that they took all the normal, not so cool dildos and added a extra sleeve that slides over the entire thing to give it the foreskin.

This extra layer does a couple of things. First, it moves. This included the foreskin moving which is something that the RealCocks Slider did not offer. So this is a plus.

The other thing this did was to add a lot of girth to the King Cocks dildos. Oddly they did not account for this on its packaging. So the 6 inch dildo is listed as a girth of about 4.7 inches which is about average. But with the slide over it, the actually about 6.2 which is massive and larger than 99.9% of men.

Now, this extra girth is OK with me because I like girth. I would say this is not nearly as realistic feeling as the RealCocks. I am glad it has a moveable foreskin. If you are looking for a circumcised dildo, all of those in the King Cocks line are not really that great in my opinion.